I Am Thankful For:
Susan G Komen for the Cure
Early detection
Excellent health insurance
Digital mammography
Who I Am Thankful For:
Rachelle, Anthony, Eileena, Natalie, Sharon, Lisa B, Eddie Z, DeLaine, Charyce, Terry, Troy, Eddie G, Lisa G, Dr. G, Dr. H, Jerry M, Andrew, Stephanie, Babs, Desiree, Darren, Danika, Barbara, Melanie, Laurie, Beverly, Rob, Jerry W, Mark, Panut, Chanin, Arty, Jim, Dr. P, Erica, Joann M, Tejinder, Andrea, Stephanie, Lisa R, Susan, Katy, Michelle, Rebecca, Darlene, Paula, Dresdin, Grace, Kim, Kris, Kerry, Rudy, Norman, Joann P, Sandra and many more.
This journey has bathed me in support and love. I am blessed and lucky.
Thank you.
PS It just occurred to me that I need a ride on Wednesday. Pick me up at 8:00 am at home and drop me at chemo. Bring lunch and pick me up from chemo around 1:30 pm. I get a little loopy. :)
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Chemo - Round 3 - Half Way There
The Last Three Weeks
The last three weeks have gone quickly but a lot has transpired. Race (refer to last post), cold and party.
I caught a cold and ran a low grade fever for a week. It was not fun but rest and fluids helped. I had little or no social contact and that was hard. I'm still coughing (the asthmatic in me) and have lost my voice but I feel good if not a little tired.
Our company awards dinner was last Saturday. I showed up with my wig, makeup and a dress on. I'm sure it was the shock, but I received a lot of compliments and a few inappropriate comments. Dinner was tasty and "Elvis" was fabulous.
Chemo - Round 3
Weighed me (small loss), bled me (white count perfect) and poisoned me (drunk and dizzy).
Joann picked me up and we grabbed breakfast on the way. It was suggested I may not be able to have chemo today due to my lingering cough. Jo was gracious enough to wait and was therefore late for work. Because all systems were normal, I was given the drip.
I sat with Dr. P and he asked what were my top two major complaints. Diarrhea and fatigue. I told him I was very thankful for so few symptoms. He was happy to hear it. He was also happy with the labs from my second lumpectomy - two small spots of DCIS. No worries.
The MUGA administered last week was an unusable mess with lots of excuses. Dr. P was not happy. I also took this opportunity to tell him my concerns with the imaging center. I will need to go back to my cardiologist for an EKG again.
This round means I have completed half the necessary chemo and I'm doing well. I am blessed, very blessed.
Moving On
I have been able to work. My memory and vocabulary have suffered but Elena is keeping me on track and focused. As long as I don't have interruptions, I can get a lot done. No multitasking. One job at a time. Mornings are tough due to my top two complaints. I have never been a morning person but now its just ridiculous.
Needs List
I need help with grocery shopping. I'd like to go after work on Wednesdays.
I also need help with laundry. I would like to offer dinner and movies on Sunday afternoon while laundry is running. I will need a heads up on dinner thoughts by Wednesday.
The last three weeks have gone quickly but a lot has transpired. Race (refer to last post), cold and party.
I caught a cold and ran a low grade fever for a week. It was not fun but rest and fluids helped. I had little or no social contact and that was hard. I'm still coughing (the asthmatic in me) and have lost my voice but I feel good if not a little tired.
Our company awards dinner was last Saturday. I showed up with my wig, makeup and a dress on. I'm sure it was the shock, but I received a lot of compliments and a few inappropriate comments. Dinner was tasty and "Elvis" was fabulous.
Chemo - Round 3
Weighed me (small loss), bled me (white count perfect) and poisoned me (drunk and dizzy).
Joann picked me up and we grabbed breakfast on the way. It was suggested I may not be able to have chemo today due to my lingering cough. Jo was gracious enough to wait and was therefore late for work. Because all systems were normal, I was given the drip.
I sat with Dr. P and he asked what were my top two major complaints. Diarrhea and fatigue. I told him I was very thankful for so few symptoms. He was happy to hear it. He was also happy with the labs from my second lumpectomy - two small spots of DCIS. No worries.
The MUGA administered last week was an unusable mess with lots of excuses. Dr. P was not happy. I also took this opportunity to tell him my concerns with the imaging center. I will need to go back to my cardiologist for an EKG again.
This round means I have completed half the necessary chemo and I'm doing well. I am blessed, very blessed.
Moving On
I have been able to work. My memory and vocabulary have suffered but Elena is keeping me on track and focused. As long as I don't have interruptions, I can get a lot done. No multitasking. One job at a time. Mornings are tough due to my top two complaints. I have never been a morning person but now its just ridiculous.
Needs List
I need help with grocery shopping. I'd like to go after work on Wednesdays.
I also need help with laundry. I would like to offer dinner and movies on Sunday afternoon while laundry is running. I will need a heads up on dinner thoughts by Wednesday.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Susan G Komen Race for the Cure 2012
I want to send a special thank you to KIM FLETCHER who essentially took my place on Race Day and in the preceding days with less than coherent instruction and guidance. She did a great job and I had fun!!
And to the other angels who helped Kim and I pull it off - Eddie, Kris, Kerry and Patricia - thank you!!
Let the Fun Begin
I've been called a social being. Its true. I visited the booths, took pictures with other committee members, and said hello to anyone I knew. I saw my nurse and signed their painting. I showed my radiologist tech my new do - with and without my pink locks. I made Hatcher cry but I swear I didn't mean to - my appearance just shocked her.
I almost missed the start of the Survivor Parade but I was able to wiggle in and found Charyce and Grace and other Young SOS members. Some wanted to cry but I refused. This was a celebration. We are the lucky ones. We are the ones who must celebrate for those who can't.
Once seated, the strangest and most wonderful thing happened. A young man came up and hugged me from behind. He kissed my bald head and said I looked beautiful. And as he ran away, he said keep up the fight. You gotta love it!!
Giddy as a child, I got up and went looking for trouble. I found Ken, Norman, Richard, Charley, Jody Jo, DeLaine and Rudy and I'm sure many more. The smile on my face was permanent. It was a great day!
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| Crazy Looks Fabulous! |
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| DeLaine and Lisa |
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| Charyce - Best Advice - Get Over It |
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| Josh and Eddie |
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| Team Alien |
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| Rudy - King of the Fat Bottom Girls |
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| KISS Country's Jody Jo and Gnarley Charley |
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| Teeny Tiny Mao with the Heart of a Giant |
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| Race Committee 2012 |
Monday, October 22, 2012
Bald IS Beautiful
As mentioned, my hair began to fall out and I wanted to speed up the process.
I want to send a special thank you to Paula Wittman at JS & Company who has been rocking my hair cuts for years and agreed to shave my head when I was ready. She warned that the shop was full and maybe I should wait. I said no. The date was set. Even as I left, I don't think she realized how much I enjoyed the experience and how much I appreciated what she gave me in shaving my head and cutting my wig bangs. Paula, I loved the whole process and love the look even more as time passes.
Dar and I ran around Macy's (at Fashion Fair) and I didn't even complain. I was shocked however. And the result was eyeliner and glitter and eyebrows. Not bad.
If I haven't mentioned this, my brother has been great support during this journey. When I told him I was going to shave my head and was maybe a little freaked out, he told me I had nothing to worry about. He noted that we were twins once (long, funny story for another time) and he has a great head for rocking bald. He was right.
I want to send a special thank you to Paula Wittman at JS & Company who has been rocking my hair cuts for years and agreed to shave my head when I was ready. She warned that the shop was full and maybe I should wait. I said no. The date was set. Even as I left, I don't think she realized how much I enjoyed the experience and how much I appreciated what she gave me in shaving my head and cutting my wig bangs. Paula, I loved the whole process and love the look even more as time passes.
Dar and I ran around Macy's (at Fashion Fair) and I didn't even complain. I was shocked however. And the result was eyeliner and glitter and eyebrows. Not bad.
If I haven't mentioned this, my brother has been great support during this journey. When I told him I was going to shave my head and was maybe a little freaked out, he told me I had nothing to worry about. He noted that we were twins once (long, funny story for another time) and he has a great head for rocking bald. He was right.
Finally, I want the record to show that his roll is bigger than my roll. LOL
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Chemo - Round 2
Chemo is not the hard part. Its what happens later that gets ugly.
Dar and I got an early start and had breakfast en route. There was a lot of girl talk and belly laughs.
I checked in, weighed in and blood letted. I then went into an exam room. Y took my blood pressure and asked what changes I noted in my body - joint pain in my right hip (walk) and dry nasal cavity (Vaseline on a Q-tip - this sounds especially fun - NOT). All other systems normal.
Y left the room. I sat and sat and sat and then I took action. I stretched my Achilles tendons on each leg by doing ankle turns and lunges. I did squats. I paced the room. I stared out the window and watched freeway traffic. I paced again. I opened the door and wandered into the hall. Dar was at the other end wondering what was going on. She closed the distance and told me several other individuals had come and gone and was curious what was going on with me. I did not know but in hindsight I believe they were waiting for blood results.
L, the nurse practitioner, arrived just after Dar so we headed back in. My blood came out great - everything is normal. I will only need four shots again. She realized I hadn't had a MUGA (See below.) so she wanted me to schedule one. As I write this, I realize I did not do that. Oops.
Dar and I returned to the chemo lounge where I had earlier scoped my chair for the day. I chose a window seat with a view of the world and quick access to the snack table. I liked this position and will attempt to get it for Round 3 as well.
Bag one was hung at 10:30am. I was high and slurring my words by 10:35am. As Dar pointed out, she didn't notice the difference. Bag two arrived at 10:45 or so and the sleepiness washed over me. Dar left to run errands with a plan to return at 1:30. I attempted to setup music on my iPad to listen while I slept. I could not recall my login info for Songza. I nodded off. It was a good sleep. I awoke about 10 minutes before Dar returned. Today's group was much more chatty so I fit in well. The last bag finished and we were out of there.
Daily Shots: Chemo kills cancer and white blood cells that protect an individuals immune system. Its important to boost my white blood cells in the days after chemo so that my immune system is not compromised too severely. After Round 1, I only needed four shots. Because my counts were good today, I will only need four rounds this time also.
Here is where math, insurance, timing and bravery meet in a crazy formula. Shots administered at the office are considered medical and I have a $20 co-pay. Shots administered at home are considered pharmaceutical and I have a 30% co-pay with a max payment of $150. Shots purchased for home come in a ten pack and cost over $5,000 or a $150 pharmaceutical co-pay. So, using math (don't be afraid), ten shots administered at the office will cost $200. Economically, shots at home are the better choice. And because the office is closed on weekends, home is also a better choice for getting daily shots. The real conundrum is am I brave enough to administer a shot to my belly or arm? My soul-searched answer is yes. Tomorrow morning my lead to a different answer.
MUGA: MUltiple Gated Acquisition scan. Apparently, there is a chemo drug that can be toxic to the heart muscle. MUGA allows doctors to determine the left ventricular ejection fraction (LVEF) which is an excellent measure of overall cardiac function. The ejection fraction is simply the proportion of blood that is expelled from the ventricle with each heart beat. For instance, if the left ventricle ejects 60% of its blood volume with each beat, the LVEF is 0.6. (A normal LVEF is 0.5 or greater.) The first one will be my baseline.
Dar and I got an early start and had breakfast en route. There was a lot of girl talk and belly laughs.
I checked in, weighed in and blood letted. I then went into an exam room. Y took my blood pressure and asked what changes I noted in my body - joint pain in my right hip (walk) and dry nasal cavity (Vaseline on a Q-tip - this sounds especially fun - NOT). All other systems normal.
Y left the room. I sat and sat and sat and then I took action. I stretched my Achilles tendons on each leg by doing ankle turns and lunges. I did squats. I paced the room. I stared out the window and watched freeway traffic. I paced again. I opened the door and wandered into the hall. Dar was at the other end wondering what was going on. She closed the distance and told me several other individuals had come and gone and was curious what was going on with me. I did not know but in hindsight I believe they were waiting for blood results.
L, the nurse practitioner, arrived just after Dar so we headed back in. My blood came out great - everything is normal. I will only need four shots again. She realized I hadn't had a MUGA (See below.) so she wanted me to schedule one. As I write this, I realize I did not do that. Oops.
Dar and I returned to the chemo lounge where I had earlier scoped my chair for the day. I chose a window seat with a view of the world and quick access to the snack table. I liked this position and will attempt to get it for Round 3 as well.
Bag one was hung at 10:30am. I was high and slurring my words by 10:35am. As Dar pointed out, she didn't notice the difference. Bag two arrived at 10:45 or so and the sleepiness washed over me. Dar left to run errands with a plan to return at 1:30. I attempted to setup music on my iPad to listen while I slept. I could not recall my login info for Songza. I nodded off. It was a good sleep. I awoke about 10 minutes before Dar returned. Today's group was much more chatty so I fit in well. The last bag finished and we were out of there.
Daily Shots: Chemo kills cancer and white blood cells that protect an individuals immune system. Its important to boost my white blood cells in the days after chemo so that my immune system is not compromised too severely. After Round 1, I only needed four shots. Because my counts were good today, I will only need four rounds this time also.
Here is where math, insurance, timing and bravery meet in a crazy formula. Shots administered at the office are considered medical and I have a $20 co-pay. Shots administered at home are considered pharmaceutical and I have a 30% co-pay with a max payment of $150. Shots purchased for home come in a ten pack and cost over $5,000 or a $150 pharmaceutical co-pay. So, using math (don't be afraid), ten shots administered at the office will cost $200. Economically, shots at home are the better choice. And because the office is closed on weekends, home is also a better choice for getting daily shots. The real conundrum is am I brave enough to administer a shot to my belly or arm? My soul-searched answer is yes. Tomorrow morning my lead to a different answer.
MUGA: MUltiple Gated Acquisition scan. Apparently, there is a chemo drug that can be toxic to the heart muscle. MUGA allows doctors to determine the left ventricular ejection fraction (LVEF) which is an excellent measure of overall cardiac function. The ejection fraction is simply the proportion of blood that is expelled from the ventricle with each heart beat. For instance, if the left ventricle ejects 60% of its blood volume with each beat, the LVEF is 0.6. (A normal LVEF is 0.5 or greater.) The first one will be my baseline.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Wigs! Hats! Scarves! And more....
Marlene Giusti and Hollywood Wigs:
I cannot say enough about my experience with Marlene, owner of Hollywood Wigs. She is the kindest, most creative and most caring individual. I was very skeptical the first time I entered her store and I left excited about the opportunity baldness would provide.
My hair began to fall out last week - just a few strands here and there. And then on Sunday, it began falling faster. I made an appointment with Marlene for Monday and I made an appointment with my hairdresser to shave it on Wednesday.
In our first appointment, Marlene spent two hours showing me every option, color and style, that she thought would look good or that I would like. I had fun. I learned a lot. I narrowed the options which you voted for via FB.
I bought wig #2. Her name is Erika. And I brought home a sassy pink number to wear race day. And I will wear it proudly to represent Hollywood Wigs.
And then I went a little crazy:
Burgundy ball cap with a jeweled cross on top
Pink Hawaiian print visor that can be worn with or without the head cover
Blue cotton scarf
Pink knit cap with gathers that can be worn front or back
Black hat with short brim and gray buckled bow
I'm sure there was more but my memory is foggy.
Whether you need a wig or want to make a change, call Marlene at Hollywood Wigs. She will show you how fun and convenient and fashionable a wig or scarf or hat can be.
I cannot say enough about my experience with Marlene, owner of Hollywood Wigs. She is the kindest, most creative and most caring individual. I was very skeptical the first time I entered her store and I left excited about the opportunity baldness would provide.
My hair began to fall out last week - just a few strands here and there. And then on Sunday, it began falling faster. I made an appointment with Marlene for Monday and I made an appointment with my hairdresser to shave it on Wednesday.
In our first appointment, Marlene spent two hours showing me every option, color and style, that she thought would look good or that I would like. I had fun. I learned a lot. I narrowed the options which you voted for via FB.
I bought wig #2. Her name is Erika. And I brought home a sassy pink number to wear race day. And I will wear it proudly to represent Hollywood Wigs.
And then I went a little crazy:
Burgundy ball cap with a jeweled cross on top
Pink Hawaiian print visor that can be worn with or without the head cover
Blue cotton scarf
Pink knit cap with gathers that can be worn front or back
Black hat with short brim and gray buckled bow
I'm sure there was more but my memory is foggy.
Whether you need a wig or want to make a change, call Marlene at Hollywood Wigs. She will show you how fun and convenient and fashionable a wig or scarf or hat can be.
Update
Plastic Surgeon:
I met with Dr. Plastics to discuss reconstruction and augmentation. Currently, I do not anticipate either option. I'm lucky.
Side Note: I was asked to remove all clothing above the waist and put on a robe. I've heard this A LOT in the last 8 weeks, so I complied. However, the robe, although an actual cloth robe, had not been washed recently. It stank of old lady perfume. I stank of old lady perfume for the rest of the day. Gross, right?!
General Surgeon:
I met with Dr. G and she examined my incisions. Both incisions are healing well. She removed the one stitch that was driving me crazy and now that area has healed.
My concern was a dark area near the lower incision. Dr. G used ultra sound to scan the area and verified that it is fluid build up. Because of the large area removed, it may take up to six months for the void in my breast to absorb the fluid and heal. The void is huge. Again, I'm lucky.
Fighting Germs:
I woke up Saturday with a raw, swollen throat. I thought I was done. However, completely out of character, I cancelled all plans and stayed in bed. I slept away half the day, gargled with salt water and dosed with Airborne. I went to bed early and repeated on Sunday. (Mama Sharon was very proud).
I met with Dr. Plastics to discuss reconstruction and augmentation. Currently, I do not anticipate either option. I'm lucky.
Side Note: I was asked to remove all clothing above the waist and put on a robe. I've heard this A LOT in the last 8 weeks, so I complied. However, the robe, although an actual cloth robe, had not been washed recently. It stank of old lady perfume. I stank of old lady perfume for the rest of the day. Gross, right?!
General Surgeon:
I met with Dr. G and she examined my incisions. Both incisions are healing well. She removed the one stitch that was driving me crazy and now that area has healed.
My concern was a dark area near the lower incision. Dr. G used ultra sound to scan the area and verified that it is fluid build up. Because of the large area removed, it may take up to six months for the void in my breast to absorb the fluid and heal. The void is huge. Again, I'm lucky.
Fighting Germs:
I woke up Saturday with a raw, swollen throat. I thought I was done. However, completely out of character, I cancelled all plans and stayed in bed. I slept away half the day, gargled with salt water and dosed with Airborne. I went to bed early and repeated on Sunday. (Mama Sharon was very proud).
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
And the blood test shows...
Daily Shots:
In the days after chemo, I am given shots to increase my white blood cell count. Chemo kills cancer AND the cells that keep me healthy. Irony?
PacMan Visualization:
Chemo = PacMan. Cancer = Dots.
PacMan is kicking butt. My right boob lit up as PacMan attacked the cancer cells left behind by the lumpectomies. Most alarming is that PacMan has to expel his waste. The fight is ugly and acidic.
Fighting Ground (me):
I'm good. Tired so I am sleeping more. Achy so I am moving slow. Loved and supported so I am GOOD.
Blood Results:
PacMan 1
Cancer 0
My white counts are above normal and the remaining tests are normal.
What's Next:
Walking often. Sleeping more hours. Eating carbs and leafy greens.
October 17, 2012 8:30am - Round 2
In the days after chemo, I am given shots to increase my white blood cell count. Chemo kills cancer AND the cells that keep me healthy. Irony?
PacMan Visualization:
Chemo = PacMan. Cancer = Dots.
PacMan is kicking butt. My right boob lit up as PacMan attacked the cancer cells left behind by the lumpectomies. Most alarming is that PacMan has to expel his waste. The fight is ugly and acidic.
Fighting Ground (me):
I'm good. Tired so I am sleeping more. Achy so I am moving slow. Loved and supported so I am GOOD.
Blood Results:
PacMan 1
Cancer 0
My white counts are above normal and the remaining tests are normal.
What's Next:
Walking often. Sleeping more hours. Eating carbs and leafy greens.
October 17, 2012 8:30am - Round 2
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Special Gift from a Special Sister
This purse was made by Claudia Semple and filled with love and goodies by Rachelle Conyers. Rachelle started her journey in May and has inspired my positive attitude. We are kicking cancer butt!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Day 1 post Chemo
Symptoms:
Dizzy mostly. It comes and goes.
My nose is extremely sensitive but since I have not been nauseous, I'm hungry.
I ate well today. Cereal for breakfast. Four slices of caprese pizza for lunch. Two fish tacos for dinner and a night cap of Chocolate Chip Frappucino. And lots of water throughout the day.
The anti-nausea pills (I think) are causing the dizziness and sleepiness.
I slept 8 hours last night. I took a 1.5 hour nap this afternoon. And I'm going to bed soon.
I enjoyed the day. I drove without incident but I am now serious about not texting and driving.
Let's hope tomorrow is just as good!
Thank you all!!
Dizzy mostly. It comes and goes.
My nose is extremely sensitive but since I have not been nauseous, I'm hungry.
I ate well today. Cereal for breakfast. Four slices of caprese pizza for lunch. Two fish tacos for dinner and a night cap of Chocolate Chip Frappucino. And lots of water throughout the day.
The anti-nausea pills (I think) are causing the dizziness and sleepiness.
I slept 8 hours last night. I took a 1.5 hour nap this afternoon. And I'm going to bed soon.
I enjoyed the day. I drove without incident but I am now serious about not texting and driving.
Let's hope tomorrow is just as good!
Thank you all!!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Chemo...dun dun duuunnnnn
Chemo Treatment One:
My Southern BFF woke me up as she drove to work but I was hoping for sleep. Turns out she only called 5 minutes before the alarm. I jumped in the shower and dressed and was ready when Tejinder arrived just after 9am.
Tejinder is a RN, ex-coworker, Komen volunteer, Survivor and friend. She rocked as my advocate for today. She shared her story and told me not to listen too closely as every one's journey is different. I have been extremely apprehensive but in the end, it turns out my imagination is better than it should be for a stuffy accountant.
I turned in my FMLA and disability paperwork ($50 racket!), paid my co-pay and was weighed (down 4lbs - not sure how??). Tejinder and I then went in to wait for Dr P. It took quite awhile but we talked about Italy, India, rudeness, being a grown up, etc. Dr. P wanted to know what I was most concerned about and how I was feeling. Barfing and good. I'm going to die of old age.
The Room:
Women and men laying in recliners, attached to an IV stand (George per Katie RN, here in after referred to as Katie), looking relaxed or nauseous (not sure ?). Apparently, you must arrive early to get a chair on the sunny side of the room. I wasn't early enough.
Katie introduced herself and began her routine. Its chicken with head cut off meets IV bags, needles and hot pads. My port allows me to receive chemo and give blood - all with one quick prick - bulls eye every time. And now that the swelling and tugging have receded, I am going to like this port.
The first bag contained an anti-nausea and benedril. The port swiftly delivers the drip to my heart through a large vein. Reaction is immediate. Floating and sleepy. Bag 2 was Carboplatin and made me dizzy and sleepy. At this point, I stopped fighting and drifted to la la land. It was peaceful sleep - better than I've been getting at home. I told Tejinder to go since I know watching me sleep is no picnic. Bag 3 was Taxetere and I only awoke long enough to see Katie start the switch. This seemed to have no effect.
I woke after about 2.5 hours feeling well. I went potty (see I can type PG). Stretched. Tried to read a trash mag - I couldn't even concentrate on the pictures. I decided to listen to Susan's iPad so I put on my earphones, turned on the Clarkson album and begin to chair dance and adjust the volume. Yes, Lyndsay, I forget to plug the earphones into the iPad so Katie had to come over and help me out. I am a dipshit.
Boredom:
Visitors of all kinds were in and out. Some came with patients and others came to thank the staff and hang out. The latter brought brownies. They are welcome back. Someone handed out dark chocolate pretzels - a personal fav - but I should have asked where she found them. My "group" appears to be primarily elderly individuals with the exception of one or two. And despite everyone saying I'd be cold, I was hot and sweaty. Katie noticed the ants in my pants but I declined her help. I may need to bring a fan but the logistics of cooling me while everyone else is cold is puzzling.
Walmart called and confirmed my iPad 2 order. Yes everyone, I have gone to the DARK side. Mark picked it up, chose a good cover, and then brought it to me. In the meantime, Tejinder brought me my favorite burger - INO cheeseburger with raw onion and a coke. I need to better plan for a meal or two. Today I overloaded on sugar which was not good. Mark was not finished downloading the new iPad software when the bags ran dry. I asked Tejinder to go and made Mark take me home. He setup the iPad with the apps and stuff I wanted. It rocks!!
Afterwards:
I have 5 oral meds to take for anti-nausea over the next several days. I also must report in for daily shots that will keep my "counts" up. I don't know exactly what this means but essentially chemo kills cancer and humans. The shots are to keep this human's immune system working.
The euphoria of my new iPad is receding so I am more aware of symptoms. When I first arrived home, I swore my brother had burned a pot on the stove. Per him and Mark, it was all in my head. Not a resounding verification, but I'm going to assume it was a symptom. It has faded. Slight dizziness has been pecking at my head all evening. Its not bad but I'm a klutz so sitting vs walking is preferred. And dizziness leads to nausea if not countered with cold. Ice truly is my hero so far.
I ate a wedge of brie and my low call BBQ PopChips. It still tasted good. If I toss it tonight, it may not. I'm going to eat cereal or noodles later. Tired-ish now. Its hard to type and be dizzy.
A special thank you to today's angels: Tejinder, Dr P, Katie, Mark and my bro. Your kindness, support, love, and humor are making this journey a simple bump in the road. LOVE and THANKS!!!
To all that have texted or emailed, I will always try to respond but sleep comes soooo easily. I appreciate all your prayers, inquires, love and support. Keep them coming!
Samantha :)
My Southern BFF woke me up as she drove to work but I was hoping for sleep. Turns out she only called 5 minutes before the alarm. I jumped in the shower and dressed and was ready when Tejinder arrived just after 9am.
Tejinder is a RN, ex-coworker, Komen volunteer, Survivor and friend. She rocked as my advocate for today. She shared her story and told me not to listen too closely as every one's journey is different. I have been extremely apprehensive but in the end, it turns out my imagination is better than it should be for a stuffy accountant.
I turned in my FMLA and disability paperwork ($50 racket!), paid my co-pay and was weighed (down 4lbs - not sure how??). Tejinder and I then went in to wait for Dr P. It took quite awhile but we talked about Italy, India, rudeness, being a grown up, etc. Dr. P wanted to know what I was most concerned about and how I was feeling. Barfing and good. I'm going to die of old age.
The Room:
Women and men laying in recliners, attached to an IV stand (George per Katie RN, here in after referred to as Katie), looking relaxed or nauseous (not sure ?). Apparently, you must arrive early to get a chair on the sunny side of the room. I wasn't early enough.
Katie introduced herself and began her routine. Its chicken with head cut off meets IV bags, needles and hot pads. My port allows me to receive chemo and give blood - all with one quick prick - bulls eye every time. And now that the swelling and tugging have receded, I am going to like this port.
The first bag contained an anti-nausea and benedril. The port swiftly delivers the drip to my heart through a large vein. Reaction is immediate. Floating and sleepy. Bag 2 was Carboplatin and made me dizzy and sleepy. At this point, I stopped fighting and drifted to la la land. It was peaceful sleep - better than I've been getting at home. I told Tejinder to go since I know watching me sleep is no picnic. Bag 3 was Taxetere and I only awoke long enough to see Katie start the switch. This seemed to have no effect.
I woke after about 2.5 hours feeling well. I went potty (see I can type PG). Stretched. Tried to read a trash mag - I couldn't even concentrate on the pictures. I decided to listen to Susan's iPad so I put on my earphones, turned on the Clarkson album and begin to chair dance and adjust the volume. Yes, Lyndsay, I forget to plug the earphones into the iPad so Katie had to come over and help me out. I am a dipshit.
Boredom:
Visitors of all kinds were in and out. Some came with patients and others came to thank the staff and hang out. The latter brought brownies. They are welcome back. Someone handed out dark chocolate pretzels - a personal fav - but I should have asked where she found them. My "group" appears to be primarily elderly individuals with the exception of one or two. And despite everyone saying I'd be cold, I was hot and sweaty. Katie noticed the ants in my pants but I declined her help. I may need to bring a fan but the logistics of cooling me while everyone else is cold is puzzling.
Walmart called and confirmed my iPad 2 order. Yes everyone, I have gone to the DARK side. Mark picked it up, chose a good cover, and then brought it to me. In the meantime, Tejinder brought me my favorite burger - INO cheeseburger with raw onion and a coke. I need to better plan for a meal or two. Today I overloaded on sugar which was not good. Mark was not finished downloading the new iPad software when the bags ran dry. I asked Tejinder to go and made Mark take me home. He setup the iPad with the apps and stuff I wanted. It rocks!!
Afterwards:
I have 5 oral meds to take for anti-nausea over the next several days. I also must report in for daily shots that will keep my "counts" up. I don't know exactly what this means but essentially chemo kills cancer and humans. The shots are to keep this human's immune system working.
The euphoria of my new iPad is receding so I am more aware of symptoms. When I first arrived home, I swore my brother had burned a pot on the stove. Per him and Mark, it was all in my head. Not a resounding verification, but I'm going to assume it was a symptom. It has faded. Slight dizziness has been pecking at my head all evening. Its not bad but I'm a klutz so sitting vs walking is preferred. And dizziness leads to nausea if not countered with cold. Ice truly is my hero so far.
I ate a wedge of brie and my low call BBQ PopChips. It still tasted good. If I toss it tonight, it may not. I'm going to eat cereal or noodles later. Tired-ish now. Its hard to type and be dizzy.
A special thank you to today's angels: Tejinder, Dr P, Katie, Mark and my bro. Your kindness, support, love, and humor are making this journey a simple bump in the road. LOVE and THANKS!!!
To all that have texted or emailed, I will always try to respond but sleep comes soooo easily. I appreciate all your prayers, inquires, love and support. Keep them coming!
Samantha :)
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Adventures in Medical Procedures
Port:
The staff at the imaging center, although very professional, is hilarious. Two male nurses that were like a comedy tag team got me ready and answered questions....well, eventually. I'm not exactly a serious patient so I can't blame them. They say laughing is the best medicine and I have to agree.
In less than an hour, I was pumped full of versed and demerol and the vortex port was implanted. I was loopy but managed to walk out on my own. Erica was very thankful.
We got lunch and headed to my house. I remember eating but I do not remember much more. I think I took a few phone calls and answered a few texts. That might not have been wise. I slept through much of the day.
The port incisions are sore and I have lost some mobility in my neck. There is a pulling near the site. I hope that goes away.
Chemo:
The date is set: Wednesday at 9:45 am. I have a friend to take me and pick me up. She is a survivor and a nurse so she knows what I'm facing. She will hold my hand.
I can do this!!
The staff at the imaging center, although very professional, is hilarious. Two male nurses that were like a comedy tag team got me ready and answered questions....well, eventually. I'm not exactly a serious patient so I can't blame them. They say laughing is the best medicine and I have to agree.
In less than an hour, I was pumped full of versed and demerol and the vortex port was implanted. I was loopy but managed to walk out on my own. Erica was very thankful.
We got lunch and headed to my house. I remember eating but I do not remember much more. I think I took a few phone calls and answered a few texts. That might not have been wise. I slept through much of the day.
The port incisions are sore and I have lost some mobility in my neck. There is a pulling near the site. I hope that goes away.
Chemo:
The date is set: Wednesday at 9:45 am. I have a friend to take me and pick me up. She is a survivor and a nurse so she knows what I'm facing. She will hold my hand.
I can do this!!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Post Surgical Update
Oncologist:
My oncologist and I visited briefly. The wound looked good and he thought I was ready for chemo. He stated my likelihood of developing lymphodema is only 20%. He also said my weight will be the biggest factor and I could begin working out again. He wants me to "train like an Olympian". I'm not sure I'm up to that but I am definitely ready to return to my high school fighting weight.
The chemo will include other drugs to fight the nausea and fatigue. I need to start on Metamucil. (I think my mother somehow planted that idea.)
Surgeon:
My surgeon pulled off the bandages (Ooooucchhh) and then replaced with clean steri-strips. The wound is healing well and I do not have a lot of fluid built up. She will review the wound again on October 11 at 3pm. Please note the date and time are more for my reference than yours. My memory is already a jumbled mess.
The pathology report has not been completed. However, my surgeon confirmed that the nodes were negative for cancer. (YES!) She also spoke to the pathologist and was told no other IDC was found but there were a few spots of DCIS on the "far" side of the tissue - away from the original tissue removal site. She thinks radiation should take care of what's left. She was optimistic but guarded. She wants to see the final written report.
I am to avoid use of my arm for at least a month. However, I am cleared for low impact aerobics. She wants me to work on a healthy diet also.
Status:
The incision where the lymph nodes were excised is sore. Ice is my new best friend. The second incision is fine. I'm not any more tired than normal. My apetite is nil. Let's hope that helps.
Port on Thursday. First chemo next Wednesday.
Thanks again for all the help, jokes, love and prayers. Each and every bit is felt and needed.
My oncologist and I visited briefly. The wound looked good and he thought I was ready for chemo. He stated my likelihood of developing lymphodema is only 20%. He also said my weight will be the biggest factor and I could begin working out again. He wants me to "train like an Olympian". I'm not sure I'm up to that but I am definitely ready to return to my high school fighting weight.
The chemo will include other drugs to fight the nausea and fatigue. I need to start on Metamucil. (I think my mother somehow planted that idea.)
Surgeon:
My surgeon pulled off the bandages (Ooooucchhh) and then replaced with clean steri-strips. The wound is healing well and I do not have a lot of fluid built up. She will review the wound again on October 11 at 3pm. Please note the date and time are more for my reference than yours. My memory is already a jumbled mess.
The pathology report has not been completed. However, my surgeon confirmed that the nodes were negative for cancer. (YES!) She also spoke to the pathologist and was told no other IDC was found but there were a few spots of DCIS on the "far" side of the tissue - away from the original tissue removal site. She thinks radiation should take care of what's left. She was optimistic but guarded. She wants to see the final written report.
I am to avoid use of my arm for at least a month. However, I am cleared for low impact aerobics. She wants me to work on a healthy diet also.
Status:
The incision where the lymph nodes were excised is sore. Ice is my new best friend. The second incision is fine. I'm not any more tired than normal. My apetite is nil. Let's hope that helps.
Port on Thursday. First chemo next Wednesday.
Thanks again for all the help, jokes, love and prayers. Each and every bit is felt and needed.
Monday, September 17, 2012
DD Found
Hello again ~
Erica has volunteered to be my DD on Thursday. Her mother has been through this twice so she knows the ropes.
Tomorrow is results day. First with oncologist and then with surgeon.
I'm saying my prayers. Please say yours too. I know He hears them.
Thank you!
Erica has volunteered to be my DD on Thursday. Her mother has been through this twice so she knows the ropes.
Tomorrow is results day. First with oncologist and then with surgeon.
I'm saying my prayers. Please say yours too. I know He hears them.
Thank you!
DD Needed
Hello All ~
I need a medical port placed just under my skin to accept the chemo meds. I've been told it's a simple procedure but they do knock me out briefly so I am not allowed to drive.
My appointment is at 10:15 on Thursday, September 20. I need a driver to pick me up, deliver me to the imaging center and take me home an hour or two later.
Please text me if you're willing and able.
Thank you.
I need a medical port placed just under my skin to accept the chemo meds. I've been told it's a simple procedure but they do knock me out briefly so I am not allowed to drive.
My appointment is at 10:15 on Thursday, September 20. I need a driver to pick me up, deliver me to the imaging center and take me home an hour or two later.
Please text me if you're willing and able.
Thank you.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
And I'm off....
Lumpectomy #2:
Yesterday I had my second lumpectomy. Although the oncologist was satisfied with my previous margins, he was worried there could be more multi-focal DCIS. Results Tuesday.
This was also an opportunity to biopsy my lymph nodes. The surgeon excised three nodes and they looked clear. Pathology should confirm on Tuesday.
Pathology:
I meet with my oncologist Tuesday afternoon. I'm hoping all is clear.
Port:
The veins in my hand are quite small so I will need a medical port inserted just below my skin on the left side. It is a common outpatient procedure. I will be sedated and I will need a driver. I have been scheduled for Thursday, September 20, 2012 at 10:15 am.
Chemo:
I do not have a date for chemo yet but its anticipated to start the week of September 24. My immune system will be compromised. I'm not sure how this will affect my plan to continue working??
Again, thank you for all the help, cheers and prayers. And keep them coming. One battle at a time.
Thank you.
Yesterday I had my second lumpectomy. Although the oncologist was satisfied with my previous margins, he was worried there could be more multi-focal DCIS. Results Tuesday.
This was also an opportunity to biopsy my lymph nodes. The surgeon excised three nodes and they looked clear. Pathology should confirm on Tuesday.
Pathology:
I meet with my oncologist Tuesday afternoon. I'm hoping all is clear.
Port:
The veins in my hand are quite small so I will need a medical port inserted just below my skin on the left side. It is a common outpatient procedure. I will be sedated and I will need a driver. I have been scheduled for Thursday, September 20, 2012 at 10:15 am.
Chemo:
I do not have a date for chemo yet but its anticipated to start the week of September 24. My immune system will be compromised. I'm not sure how this will affect my plan to continue working??
Again, thank you for all the help, cheers and prayers. And keep them coming. One battle at a time.
Thank you.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Plan for the Worst, Pray for the Best
Oncology:
I met with the oncologist and we went over the lab findings and he made recommendations. He believes that the surgeon got all the IDC but that there may be additional DCIS remaining. He also examined my breasts and lymph areas. I was given two choices:
1. A second lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy followed by chemo and radiation.
2. Chemo followed by a mastectomy and possibly radiation. This option would also require an immediate ultrasound of the lymph area.
Chemo:
Chemo will consist of 6 treatments spread over 15 weeks - one treatment every three weeks. I received a great deal of literature to review. Common side effects include hair loss, nausea, weight gain, diarrhea, fatigue, fluid retention and numbness in fingers and toes. The good news is these side effects should be temporary.
The chemo drugs are administered intravenously. I will be receiving Carboplatin, Taxotere and Herciptin. The veins in my hand are small so I will have a port installed. This is temporary and will be removed when treatments conclude.
Radiation:
Radiation will be administered daily M-F for six weeks after chemo is complete. The process only takes a few minutes after the initial appointment. Side effects include fatigue and sunburn like reddening of the skin.
My Choice:
I have chosen to have a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy followed by chemo and radiation. If the lumpectomy is successful and all DCIS can be removed with clear margins, the likelihood of recurrence is only 3-4% higher than with a mastectomy and chemo.
There is a chance that the DCIS is throughout the breast and complete removal through lumpectomy will be impossible. If this happens, I will have to have a mastectomy after chemo is complete.
My original plan was to be proactive but my cancer is stage 1. Its early. I don't need to rush ahead too fast. One step at a time.
Schedule:
I will be going in for surgery on Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 3:00pm. My oncology follow up is scheduled for Tuesday, September 18, 2012 but I forgot what time. Chemo should start soon after.
Needs:
Prayers above all. Perhaps nutritious low sodium, low fat meals for Thursday. My weight is quite literally a noose around my neck and its time to turn it around. Kenny will keep me moving and I will learn to like to cook again.
Status:
I will make sure a post goes to my FB once I'm in recovery. Please wait for this update.
THANK YOU!! I am basking in all the love and support you are sending. Please keep it coming as it makes this journey so much better.
I met with the oncologist and we went over the lab findings and he made recommendations. He believes that the surgeon got all the IDC but that there may be additional DCIS remaining. He also examined my breasts and lymph areas. I was given two choices:
1. A second lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy followed by chemo and radiation.
2. Chemo followed by a mastectomy and possibly radiation. This option would also require an immediate ultrasound of the lymph area.
Chemo:
Chemo will consist of 6 treatments spread over 15 weeks - one treatment every three weeks. I received a great deal of literature to review. Common side effects include hair loss, nausea, weight gain, diarrhea, fatigue, fluid retention and numbness in fingers and toes. The good news is these side effects should be temporary.
The chemo drugs are administered intravenously. I will be receiving Carboplatin, Taxotere and Herciptin. The veins in my hand are small so I will have a port installed. This is temporary and will be removed when treatments conclude.
Radiation:
Radiation will be administered daily M-F for six weeks after chemo is complete. The process only takes a few minutes after the initial appointment. Side effects include fatigue and sunburn like reddening of the skin.
My Choice:
I have chosen to have a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy followed by chemo and radiation. If the lumpectomy is successful and all DCIS can be removed with clear margins, the likelihood of recurrence is only 3-4% higher than with a mastectomy and chemo.
There is a chance that the DCIS is throughout the breast and complete removal through lumpectomy will be impossible. If this happens, I will have to have a mastectomy after chemo is complete.
My original plan was to be proactive but my cancer is stage 1. Its early. I don't need to rush ahead too fast. One step at a time.
Schedule:
I will be going in for surgery on Wednesday, September 12, 2012 at 3:00pm. My oncology follow up is scheduled for Tuesday, September 18, 2012 but I forgot what time. Chemo should start soon after.
Needs:
Prayers above all. Perhaps nutritious low sodium, low fat meals for Thursday. My weight is quite literally a noose around my neck and its time to turn it around. Kenny will keep me moving and I will learn to like to cook again.
Status:
I will make sure a post goes to my FB once I'm in recovery. Please wait for this update.
THANK YOU!! I am basking in all the love and support you are sending. Please keep it coming as it makes this journey so much better.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
HMO Twist
Doctors don't like HMOs and I have an HMO.
I have made multiple attempts to find a surgeon to give me a second opinion. My top choice will not take my HMO. I'm already with one of the top three so I will not be getting a second opinion at this point.
Reconstruction:
Weight is a big factor when considering reconstruction. Belly fat can pull on the wound, complicating healing. It is recommended that heavy individuals heal after a mastectomy before going forward with reconstruction. Further, unilateral reconstruction means the reconstructed breast will forever be the same size but the other will grow and shrink with weight gain and weight loss. Its a lot to consider.
Prosthetics:
My BFF is a prosthetician. This can be a good non-surgical solution either temporarily or permanently. It still seems odd to me but it will give me time to get used to the new me.
Oncology:
Dr. Perkins has agreed to meet with me on Monday at 7:00 am. I will have a friend with me who has been there done that, twice. Dr. Perkins should be able to answer a LOT of the many questions accumulating.
Health:
I am going to continue seeing my trainer until they tell me I can't. Today's workout although short felt great. I now I have a few things I can do that don't make me bounce or rub myself the wrong way.
I was told I will need someone with me for 10 days after surgery. Once I have a surgery date, I will post a schedule.
Keep the thoughts, prayers and laughs coming.
Thank you all!!
I have made multiple attempts to find a surgeon to give me a second opinion. My top choice will not take my HMO. I'm already with one of the top three so I will not be getting a second opinion at this point.
Reconstruction:
Weight is a big factor when considering reconstruction. Belly fat can pull on the wound, complicating healing. It is recommended that heavy individuals heal after a mastectomy before going forward with reconstruction. Further, unilateral reconstruction means the reconstructed breast will forever be the same size but the other will grow and shrink with weight gain and weight loss. Its a lot to consider.
Prosthetics:
My BFF is a prosthetician. This can be a good non-surgical solution either temporarily or permanently. It still seems odd to me but it will give me time to get used to the new me.
Oncology:
Dr. Perkins has agreed to meet with me on Monday at 7:00 am. I will have a friend with me who has been there done that, twice. Dr. Perkins should be able to answer a LOT of the many questions accumulating.
Health:
I am going to continue seeing my trainer until they tell me I can't. Today's workout although short felt great. I now I have a few things I can do that don't make me bounce or rub myself the wrong way.
I was told I will need someone with me for 10 days after surgery. Once I have a surgery date, I will post a schedule.
Keep the thoughts, prayers and laughs coming.
Thank you all!!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Something New
My sister and I got a chance to talk today. We have the same Dad but only met in 2007 and are still finding our way. She was 20 when he passed.
The good news is she knows his family history. Our grandma Ruby had breast cancer.
There IS family history. Genetic testing may be warranted.
Spirits are good. Laughs are plenty.
Thank you!!
The good news is she knows his family history. Our grandma Ruby had breast cancer.
There IS family history. Genetic testing may be warranted.
Spirits are good. Laughs are plenty.
Thank you!!
Journey and Pathology To Date
First, a mammogram has saved my life.
My annual mammo on 8/8/12 was compared to my 2011 mammo and a change in my right breast was detected.
On 8/22/12, a surgical biopsy was performed with needle localization.
Pathology:
There was a 1cmX1cmX1cm invasive cancerous tumor.
The remaining tissue contained comedonecrotic pre-cancer, a very aggressive form.
Surgical Recommendation:
The surgeon is recommending unilateral mastectomy.
Next Step:
I need to meet with an oncologist and a plastic surgeon. I am also going to talk to a second surgeon. I was given a two week timeline so I should have more info by the end of next week.
Emotional Status:
Ok. I'm tired of talking about it and tired of researching it. The upside is I have sisters everywhere I look. And for once, I understand some of the signs God has sent.
For all those offering to help, be careful what you ask for. For the next week I'm requesting gut-busting, pee-in-my-pants belly laughs. There will be plenty of time for more serious requests.
Thank you for the love and the prayers.
My annual mammo on 8/8/12 was compared to my 2011 mammo and a change in my right breast was detected.
On 8/22/12, a surgical biopsy was performed with needle localization.
Pathology:
There was a 1cmX1cmX1cm invasive cancerous tumor.
The remaining tissue contained comedonecrotic pre-cancer, a very aggressive form.
Surgical Recommendation:
The surgeon is recommending unilateral mastectomy.
Next Step:
I need to meet with an oncologist and a plastic surgeon. I am also going to talk to a second surgeon. I was given a two week timeline so I should have more info by the end of next week.
Emotional Status:
Ok. I'm tired of talking about it and tired of researching it. The upside is I have sisters everywhere I look. And for once, I understand some of the signs God has sent.
For all those offering to help, be careful what you ask for. For the next week I'm requesting gut-busting, pee-in-my-pants belly laughs. There will be plenty of time for more serious requests.
Thank you for the love and the prayers.
Friday, August 31, 2012
And it begins....
Welcome friends!
My goal is not to bum you out or start a pity party but to keep you informed. You all know I can talk without breath or end so this should be much simpler and time efficient.
I love you all and thank you for the love, prayers and support that I know you'll send.
My goal is not to bum you out or start a pity party but to keep you informed. You all know I can talk without breath or end so this should be much simpler and time efficient.
I love you all and thank you for the love, prayers and support that I know you'll send.
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